Only You Can Make Me Do it

It’s been a minute, as they say. I embarked on this journey almost 10 years ago and my original idea was to tackle the 100 things you should do before you grow up, by the time (or at least soon after), I turned fifty. Well, I’ve crested the top of the 50s roller coaster and I’m barreling into 60 faster than I’d like. After our final Marine Corps move I paused (ended?!) my library career to write. I’ve taken classes and workshops, had the opportunity to attend a writing seminar for military spouses (where I met the most amazing people) and even published a piece. I’m currently working on a memoir, one essay at a time, about our time in the Marine Corps. That’s a lot of writing and remembering and thinking about…me. And yet, this blog is still in the back of my mind and, unfortunately, it won’t write itself. So, I decided to do even more writing about…me.

While writing the blog I tried things, ate things, thought about things, I never would have otherwise. I discovered I like puzzles.

I like birds. The eastern bluebirds, the pine warblers, and my favorite, the downy woodpeckers, all spend time at the various feeders just outside our window. I can’t say I’ve eaten Ethiopian food again, but I might. I see something or do something and think, hey, this would be great for the blog. So, I’m trying again. For those who have been with me from the beginning, you know that betting odds are by August I’ll be out again. Fair enough. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but at some point it was completed. I make no promises, especially to myself, but I’m giving it another go.

I started therapy over a year ago. After we moved, I realized I needed help with my transition from librarian/military spouse to writer/what-am-I?-er. My therapist introduced me to Gretchen Rubin and the Four Tendencies quiz. I’ll spare you the details but do take it yourself if you are interested. Turns out, I’m an Obliger which basically means that I will do anything that you ask of me, and I’ll feel good about doing it, but I cannot show up for myself. External expectations. Check. Internal expectations. Nope. I need accountability and I need it fast.

I’ve been feeling inspired about writing again. I have ideas and projects, which is a good thing, And yet, sometimes that’s a bad thing; just another way to overthink myself into doing nothing. With 79 challenges to go, I’m going to try and complete 15 this year. (I can’t believe I just wrote that, my slippery self already wants to decommit). I’ll be in my sixties before I’m done, who cares. If I’m lucky I’ll be 60 whether I finish or not, so why not try to finish. Here’s where you come in. I need you to make me do it. If weeks go by and you haven’t seen a new blog post can you call me out? In the kindest way possible? A nudge. A wink. A hey-you-need-to-post-something. I can do the same for you. Name it. I’ll call you on it. In the nicest way possible.

Here’s to 2024, the year of writing and not overthinking. Thanks for reading.

Before you go…the writing seminar I attended was hosted by The War Horse, a non-profit newsroom working to close the gap of understanding between the military and the civilian population. For a handful of days, nestled in the beautiful countryside of upstate New York, I listened and talked and wrote and laughed and cried with eleven other military spouses, all both very different from and very like me. I am happy to be forever linked with them and honored to have heard their beautiful words read in their own voices. I’m still amazed to have been chosen to write alongside them and will always count them among my friends.